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February 12, 2009
We need a time-travel border fence.
I was very concerned to learn this morning that Ohio has a Republican congressman named Steve Austria.
Yes, that's right, Austria. Do you remember what Austria is? Yes! A foreign country! We have allowed a toothy-grinned, foreign-named mystery man to infiltrate the very heartland of our nation's governance! Our borders are unsecured!
I was reassured, however, to learn that this wily legislator from the land of Schwarzenegger is framing his passionate opposition to the $789 billion economic stimulus bill using the most effective rhetoric possible: totally insane revisionist history.
U.S. Rep. Steve Austria said he supports a scaled-down federal economic-stimulus proposal, but the Beavercreek Republican told The Dispatch editorial board that the huge influx of money into the economy could have a negative effect."When (President Franklin) Roosevelt did this, he put our country into a Great Depression," Austria said. "He tried to borrow and spend, he tried to use the Keynesian approach, and our country ended up in a Great Depression. That's just history."
Most historians date the beginning of the Great Depression at or shortly after the stock-market crash of 1929; Roosevelt took office in 1933.
Yes, not only was that nasty FDR a closet socialist, but a time-traveler as well. They're the worst kind.
Keep up the good work, Herr Austria.
