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May 27, 2009
The Nicene Creed of technospeak parody.
Finely honed, witty bullshit that stands the test of time is a rare quantity indeed. The litany of the Turboencabulator spans decades—it's clearly well-loved among supernerds, who stay as faithful to this text as Monty Python or Big Lebowski fanatics are to their own.
Rockwell, circa 1997:
Date and source unknown:
Chrysler, circa 1988:
Most amazing (beside the fact that these were produced in-house at big, humorless corporations) is that the text apparently dates to the mid-1940s. The earliest reproduction that I've seen appears as a phony technical spec sheet and detailed description (on GE letterhead) from 1962.
My own Pops can relate; he commented that
In my teen years we had a routine that, unfortunately, I can't remember except that it extolled the virtue of installing "Fnortner Rods" in a car engine to soup it up.
Bullshit is a renewable resource.
